I was woken up from a text AND facebook message (why both?) from an abusive man from my past this morning. The messages read, “hi u…” in one and “how u been?” in the other. So nonchalant. As if we haven’t talked in two years. He betrayed my trust and used me for the last time, and I completely ripped him from my life, or at least I thought I had. It has taken me about ten years to swallow the hard pill of what all has happened. Ten years is long enough for people to reflect on their behavior and change, and so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to give him a chance to redeem himself.
Unfortunately, that was not the case. Duran (let’s say that’s his name; I’d rather not use real ones) was moving across the country and needed a place to stay for a few days. He asked me, somewhat out of the blue, and after we talked for a bit, I agreed.
He and his puppers stayed on my couch. I let him eat my food, drink my beer, smoke my weed. I even took him out to a bar that I occasionally frequent and introduced him to some friends. Duran thanked me by creepily hitting on my sister that lived with me at the time in front of her SO, allowing his dog to bleed (she was in heat) all over my livingroom and my couch and not offering to help clean it, as well as borrowing $60 and not repaying it, even asking for more so he could buy more cannabis. Once he left, I erased him from my life for good. I was giving him another chance after what happened years before, and he squandered it.
Change toward becoming a better person is not something that happens to you, you have to want it and work for it.
In other news, spring is in full force and fucking beautiful over here in the gorgeous PNW. Check out that foxglove!